apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
