i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
