I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
