She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
