I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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