Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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