ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
