I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he laminated a picture of his dick.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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