wakey wakey hands off snakey
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
