There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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