he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I got inside last night via doggy door
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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