can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize