My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
