omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
