the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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