I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
