I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
