I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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