Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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