I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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