I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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