I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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