It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm passing your future prison.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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