and she was petting her beer can
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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