just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
