well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
