do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
