You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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