the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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