Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
