Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
