ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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