Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
