His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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