So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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