Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
