I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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