Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
