I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize