I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
