How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
