i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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