I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
