hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
