I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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