NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
