so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
