after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
