Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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