Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
