guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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