He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
