My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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