I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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