Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
