Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
