This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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