i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
