now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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