I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
