this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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