anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
