Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
