There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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