Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize