love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
