Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
