So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
