i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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